On Valentine’s Day, Everybody Screws You


Yes. We said it! Valentine’s is the time of the year where you pay a crapload of money for flowers, and chocolates, and everything else in between. You get screwed over by the florists, and the sweets shops you hardly ever visit throughout the year and the incessant red and white donned in every shop window is a constant reminder that you are being screwed over. Let’s not even get to the stuffed toys. We have had enough! This year we are not even loving and hating Valentine’s like we did last year. No. This year we are going dark!

So on Valentine’s Day, 14 February 2014, we are throwing an anti-Valentine’s dinner complete with fire everywhere to burn the annoying cupid (Anyone else wondered why he’s a naked baby boy who shoots you with an arrow? Littered with metaphors that one, isn’t it?) Ok, so maybe it’s not that dark. But there are ground rules:

1. No one is allowed to invite their ex or even mention his/her name.

2. You are not allowed to utter the dreaded V-Word the entire night. (To be clear, the ‘V’ word is Valentine’s.)

3. You are not allowed to mention the dreaded L-Word (love) unless it’s with reference to your furniture at home, our your gadgets.

4. You must not bring any chocolate, strawberries or champagne. These are not to be consumed at this party.

5. No RED anywhere, including its many shades and gradients.

5. You must not speak about weddings, dates, future boy/girlfriends. You are however allowed to talk about one-night stands.

We’ll have live music featuring Cameron Bruce, a talented musician. Bruce debuted a duet with Hannah Foster sometime in January this year and this time he will be performing on his own. No couples, even on stage!

Group bookings, bookings with Anti-Valentine’s friends – all these can be made by phone: 011 486 3631, email: oddcafe.greenside@gmail.com or Twitter: @oddcafe.

A set menu is available for the party. Check it out below.


See y’all then!


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